And quite hard to read. He held my hand and leaned forward, held my chin, removed his other hand from mine, wrapped it around my waist, looked me in the eyes and kissed me. You shouldn’t put up with it. If he wanted to be with you, he’d tell you that. I spent most of my years waiting for something to happen and I was fucking miserable. For my entire life, I was a tomboy. Ruby Tuesday Make it clear for yourself, then for him, and you will get a clearer answer. We and our partners will store and/or access information on your device through the use of cookies and similar technologies, to display personalised ads and content, for ad and content measurement, audience insights and product development. Believe in your feelings. He was all over me that day. When you guys pull away from the kiss, he hopes you don’t think he’s a bad kisser. If he is interested, he should date you and treat you as a date and potential girlfriend. I used to have a crush on him in middle school but I never said anything. Because if so, that’s pretty problematic, no matter how you feel about it. And if you’re truly not all that interested in him romantically and just want to be friends, say so. Then you should say so to him. no wonder the guy is waffling a bit. So here’s my problem: I really like this guy, as a friend or maybe more but I’m not sure, because I don’t know how he really feels about me; however, I love being around him both as friends and when we were “together” (kissing). I know he’s been hurt in the past because girls pressure him to have sex, and while I’m not like this, I think he’s nervous that I will be. when i tell him i love him or miss him he changes the subject. You say Scott is respectful of you, but this isn’t what respect looks like. I met one of my best friends in the beginning of 9th grade when he sat next to me in our last period class. It's normal to wonder "does my guy friend like me? Anyway, to help you get things clearer I have kissed this guy before (again we were both drunk). Right now, he’s testing the waters, seeing how you react to him. — Not Sure What He Wants. However this symbol is a sign of a complete calm in your personal life. I know her husband as well. He talks about other girls to see if she gets jealous, there’s sort of no reaction. and then, when you call them on it and ask them about their feelings, panic and say “let’s just be friends” while continuing to flirt with you aggressively. Regardless, it is beyond time for you to decide what YOU want and to communicate that with Scott since waiting for him to communicate with you is a fruitless endeavor. Assert yourself. Sometimes, friendships evolve. There's a guy that I met in middle school and he has been my friend since. Weird. Dear Wendy is a relationship advice blog. If he is a weasel he will try to get around them and then you will know where you stand. He tries kissing her, she doesn’t seem to mind, but she gets back with her boyfriend. She’s confusing as all get out. “Not because of you but because of me! Huh. When i was about to leave he kissed me and I kissed him back. I’m wondering if right away he was like “oh yes, i will plan an outing” once you told him what you are wanting/looking for? Just inhabit your own life, for chrissakes, and don’t EVER tell yourself you’re “fine” with whatever someone else decides about YOUR life. … Then, bring that up. “tell me he wanted to kiss me or things like that, and then he’d talk to me about other girls. Honestly? If you have asked him outright what he wants and he can’t answer you, I believe he enjoys kissing you and pushing his boundaries a bit, but probably is not a long term potential. Does he just like walk up and kiss you with no warning? If he treats them... - Guy's Behavior Question Copyright © 2021 Dear Wendy. him and my friends planned this spontaneous thing and he kissed me. May 21, 2019, 11:37 pm. I imagine he was, too. Or read a book now. During this time Scott started flirting with me, and he ended up kissing me. So basically my friend and I have been friend for a little more than a year now and at first I really just thought about him as a really good friend but them as time went by I started to feel a little bit more than friendship for him and now I've had a big crush on him since last April. ” I was once ghosted by a guy after we dated for a little over a month. If your girlfriend kissed another guy because she was extremely drunk and sincerely didn’t even know what was happening (e.g. Don’t be so passive. It seems that he wants to have his first sexual experience with you without committing to you as a boyfriend. Last night i dreamt that i kissed this boy that i have history (bad history though we're friends now) and he was my first kiss. Someone kissing you repeatedly is definitely a reason to think they might be into you. I’m (19f) and my guy best friend is 19 as well but we’ve been friends sense 9th grade and I finally told him about a month ago that I had a crush on him in … So I went to my best guy friend's house. It sounded to me like she just gets off on him liking her as an ego boost. Chewe So there was an event, so we both decided we won’t go because my girlfriend’s went ahead of me and he wasnt going so I decided not to go but instead hang out.. it was awesome he opened up to me. Bittergaymark Especially for a hapless inexperienced virgin…. It makes the first kiss even better. My first thought was also that you’ve very passive. He’s dated my friend for a bit over a year and she broke up with him last fall. If he says yes, give it a try, but if he says no, tell him the flirting and the kissing has to stop because it’s confusing for you. Hi! This isn’t what friendship looks like. Anyway, Saturday night we decided to go dancing, and had a really good time. Ruby Tuesday This kiss is only considered platonic if he is doing it as a form of a joke. Have some boundaries. Then I stuck to it–no kissing, no holding hands, no cuddling unless he was willing to take me out (I was willing to pay dutch, too). One of the straight ones was Dillon, a … I had plenty of friends at the time; some happened to be gay and others, straight. Usually, your … I got back together with my boyfriend, and Scott was respective and stopped kissing me even though we didn’t really have a conversation about it. My advice is to not rush in for the kiss, instead, keep building the intensity. And if those things are a turn-on for you, then I guess Scott is a good fit for you! I wrote my response before reading Wendy’s, and it’s pretty much the same. I was in a situation like this in college (this situation is so college) and I told my guy friend that I was not interested in being a “flavor of the week” but if he wanted to take me on a date and see what happened that would be fun. Well, it wasn't a lot of people at school on the last day so we decided to go just to hang out. Or did he need time to think, wasn’t sure right away, etc.? If you want him, then put it out there. Not the best time to start a new relationship. Me and him are both 19 now but this started when we were 15. We held hands under the stars.. have never seen that side of him.. then later he kissed me.. next morning surprisly he apologized that he shouldn’t have done that,that he was sorry,he cherished what he has with me and he feels guilty cause his dating.. he felt horrible and used I stayed a week without talking to him when I did start talking to him he replaced me another girl but still treating me the same way.. mean and caring at the same time,his capricone btw.. huh he just lives me confused am planning to ask him why he did that by the end of semester.my friends things that he does like me but I don’t think so... Since then, we’ve hung out and talked more at school. You are a woman with her own needs: tell him that. You can read about me here, peruse the archives here and read popular posts here. Girl, no. Information about your device and internet connection, including your IP address, Browsing and search activity while using Verizon Media websites and apps. I don’t want to lose him as a friend, and I’m fine with any relationship he wants (friends, dating, FWB, etc. @bgm, this LW is so 18-21 year old me it hurts. one day after school while trying to sort things out, he stopped and gave me a hug.. the hug felt like it lasted 10 minutes and since I'm really emotional is started to cry on his shoulder, as he backed away he kissed me. Now he’s telling me he doesn’t want to be with that girl anymore and has started more serious flirting with me (even trying to get me a plane ticket to go see him). Is he religious? You don’t wait for others to make decisions for you and tell you how your life is going to be. Do you want to be with a boyfriend now? This is some manipulative bullshit from an immature, inexperienced guy who seemingly not only lacks self-confidence, but also likely doesn’t have much respect for women either. Follow along on Facebook, and Instagram. New Here? If he accepts the idea, and you have to tell him to quit talking to you about other women, then do that. What do YOU want? That’s interesting. A kiss with an acquaintance whom you are not supposed to kiss is a signal about possible love affairs that you will not even have to look for.. A kiss with your beloved one foreshadows the material benefits obtained in an unusual way for you. Even in my commitment to denial, I couldn’t pretend it wasn’t odd. But that's mostly typical. My guy friend tried to kiss me but I backed out because it would just be weird I've known him for so long and I do like him but I wouldn't want to ruin our friendship did I make a mistake should I have kissed him back? However, he’d flirt with me and tell me he wanted to kiss me or things like that, and then he’d talk to me about other girls. Here’s the other issue: He’s a virgin and I’m not. SEND HELP. Right before we left, Scott kissed me again. What you need to do now is look at the signs your guy friend is falling for you. Or do you just want to have fun and frolic with Scott? In my case, I was fairly focused on earning good grades because my ultimate goal was to graduate with a high GPA so that I could get a spot at Wharton Business School. So let’s start from the beginning I guess. Does the LW have much respect for men? She’s just “OK” with everything. I was surprised when she announced she REALLY likes him. May 21, 2019, 10:13 am. He’d just over-thought it? Does he gauge if you want to be kissed? The next day I texted him and we talked a little bit and I stopped replying and since then about a week ago he hasn't text me. He also always has girls texting him all the time and talks about how he is such a man whore. Just observe VERY closely how he behaves near you, and compare how he behaves near other women. Thanks for visiting! I'm a 30 year old man, and my friend is a 37 year old woman, who is also married. You asked before and he said he just liked you as a friend. Plus, she was initially not broken up with her boyfriend. Her hang out quite a bit, whether it be going to see a movie, have dinner, go sing Kareoke together, swimming, hiking, or whatever. Friends don’t talk about having sex with you and then kiss you (more than once!) That’s not just confusing and vague and WEIRD, it’s fucking rude. Otherwise, wouldn’t you be into him regardless? A lot of guys think they’re great kissers, and they want to be the best you’ve ever had. I don’t know what to do—if I wait to see if he finally fesses up his feelings for me or if I just forget about it. After accumulating some kissing knowledge, or even before then, many of us start to wonder what it might be like to kiss our best friend. "I am 14 and I liked this guy so I did what the article said. Say, “You said you just wanted to be friends, but you keep kissing me. But I definitely wanted to see you again.” The little dot dot dot indicating he was typing flashed on my screen for a while. From the Mailbag: “You Can Decide How to React to What You Have”, “How Should I Tell My Infertile Sister I’m Planning to Get Pregnant?”, “Will I Lose All My Friends When I Have Kids?”. “I think Josh has a crush on me,” I told my friend Carol. She says she REALLY likes this guy? Unfortunately the same thing happened to me but he only did it once.. we are both at University doing the same course. If you want to be with him, you should tell him. I don’t get it. I would not advise being his FWB unless you like the idea of a no-strings-attached relationship with someone who’s wishy-washy with you, talks about other women with you, and has zero sexual experience. The signs your guy friend is falling for you . Today I tried to kiss my best friend TikTok Compilation! What does it mean to you?” TBH, I also think it’s a concern that you don’t know how you feel about him without knowing how he feels about you. It’s a weird game of cat and mouse you’re playing. I was in the library at school and I was alone and he came in and sat beside me. All was fine until I went on a break with my boyfriend a couple months ago. It seems, reading your post, that what you need right now is some room after the breakup with your boyfriend. Always hanging out with guys, playing sports, and wearing baggy clothes. “My Guy Friend Kissed Me But Won’t Tell Me What He Wants” ... Now he’s telling me he doesn’t want to be with that girl anymore and has started more serious flirting with me (even trying to get me a plane ticket to go see him). Your feelings are YOURS and they are not dependent on someone else’s. You are your own person – a person who has her own thoughts and opinions. It’s what bothers him the most. Forehead kiss. I’ve been friends with my guy friend for three years now, and we’ve gotten closer this year. If you have a relationship/dating question I can help answer, you can send me your letters at [email protected] (be sure to read these guidelines first). He laid really close be hide me, and during the movie he put his hand on my side. But in reality he actually isn't at all and wouldn't ever be he is too honest for that. Because it’s also not fair to let him think he has a chance if he doesn’t. Wait until school starts again. You can change your choices at any time by visiting Your Privacy Controls. I don’t know, this reads to me like a guy who really likes the LW but is very inexperienced with relationships and is sort of feeling around to get an idea of how she feels. Record scratch right there. So. But in my dream he knew and still kissed me though i was at my old house and it felt real. When I finally mustered up the courage to ask him what he wanted, it seemed like he panicked and said “let’s just be friends.” Well, I was fine with that, and then the next day he kissed me again, leaving me very confused. I didn't ask him to do it though, some friends realized that I was almost 16 and still hadn't kissed anyone. Does HE know that? So find out what those needs are. I was the tiniest bit hesitant,” I admitted. Yeah. That makes me think that you don’t actually like him more than a friend and that perhaps you just want th attention or something. We've been best friends for years, before she was married. You can also follow along on Facebook and Instagram. Find out more about how we use your information in our Privacy Policy and Cookie Policy. We are juniors in high school and we are still the best of friends. He has to adjust and stop the nonsense: but yourself, you were quite unclear, with your unclear boyfriend situation. I Kissed My Best Friend, And This Is What Happened Mostly everyone can remember what their first kiss was like, and many of us have come a long way since then. Tell him that, with all his flirting and the kissing, you thought there might be a chance the interest was mutual and so you want to know if that’s the case and if he wants to try dating. He’s not getting any kind of strong emotion from her no matter what he does. Then we got up and watched his little brother for a little bit for his mom. A couple of weeks ago his best friend (a girl) was told by another of his good mates he liked me but when she asked him herself if it was true he denied it and got mad at her. Be willing to do what YOU want, with maybe a little wiggle room for compromise in certain situations IF your boundaries are respected. She’s one of my best friends and she’s a real straight shooter. "—especially if he's changed his behavior around you. Friends don't usually kiss on the lips as a goodbye. As you are currently single and let him do what he wants (kisses, intimate conversations about sex, and so on), he dares trying with you. Welcome! You’ve been almost entirely passive; everything is about what Scott does (he flirts with you, he kisses you), what Scott says (he talks about other girls, he’s made numerous comments about wanting to have sex with you and how he’d choose you over everyone else to lose his virginity to), and about guessing what Scott wants (“friends, dating, FWB, etc.”) and you’re just “fine” with it all (your words). So, I have been friends with this guy for a while now and whenever we hang out he always does stupid guy things like smacking my butt or making humping motions. We are going to take a trip back to 2016 when this all started. Have some self-respect. What should I do? You shouldn’t put up with it, and you sure as shit shouldn’t be willing to do whatever it is he wants — “friends, dating, FWB, etc.” if only he would communicate what it is he wants. If he rejects you, fine. I know if I were this guy, I’d be confused as hell at this point. Here are signs he may want more out of your relationship than just friendship. He never told me how he really felt about me and would instead just flirt or deflect. ), but I’m nervous to ask him what he wants because of last time. Not wait for him to make some kind of grand announcement that he wants to be with you, because it’s not really fair to make him put himself out there if you’re not willing to. Don’t be willing to do whatever a guy wants. However, he’s also made numerous comments about wanting to have sex with me, including telling me that if there was one person on campus he’d lose his virginity to, it would be me (said before we had even kissed!!). If Scott is really a man you would like to date, tell him so. I agree that you sound very passive in all of this. Take a course in feminism when you get back to school. Please listen to Wendy. And backed off a bit. What the hell? Don’t be College Me. “Well. It’s interesting that he won’t have sex but says he wants to have sex with you. That’s what feminism is, by the way. But i also made a bet with my bestie to see if i can kiss him. We were gonna watch a movie, so I laid down on his bed. This guy you’ve been platonic friends with kisses you twice and tells you multiple times he wants to have sex with you, but when you ask him what he wants, he says “let’s just be friends” and goes on to talk about other girls? Then we each went home and he started flirting a lot with me. And see how you both feel. I think you need to figure out what you want from this guy, and tell him. If you only see your guy friend sporadically, you might not be on his relationship … LW, I don’t know if you think you’re protecting yourself by not letting him know you like him, or if you’re not interested enough to feel much of anything about him, or if you’re really this passive about everything in your life and just go with what other people want you to do. . Do you kiss back? : They were “on a break” which is very different. Wendy says he doesn’t have much respect for women… Eh? Figure that out. He planned an outing, we had fun, and we ended up becoming boyfriend-girlfriend and then getting married a few years later. The guy that ghosted me hadn’t ghosted me? November 16, 2019, 11:27 am, Well! She sounds very passive. Are you interested in dating Scott? Not overly sexual, but states I am in this to date you, not be your friend only. He probably likes you but indeed, you are not there as a cobaye for his sexual education. May 21, 2019, 11:36 pm. my best guy friend (Jacob 17) and I (Alexandria 15) just recently got into a huge fight, we both thought that our friendship was going to be ruined in the end. Now, we’re not talking about the touch prior to going in for the kiss. but I’m also very close friends with his cousin and she and I … You say you aren’t sure whether you like this guy more than friends because you aren’t sure how he feels. I never told him because I don't want to ruin our friendship and he recently told me he still loves his ex. I kissed my guy best friend and now I feel like my whole world is falling apart. It happened right before I came home from college (I live several states away from my college and even more states away from Scott). #9 He gives you little touches. I found out that my crush likes me and now we're together. I don’t even really understand your description of being kissed. In fact, I would never recommend anybody start up a long simmering relationship as long distance. That’s just straight-up rude. But if you want to know something, then ask. he tries to get me jealous we are in the same classes we only talk on email we never talk in person and he acts like he doesn’t care or he doesn’t love me. He might be interested in you. He’s still heating up. If you have a relationship/dating question I can help answer, you can send me your letters at wendy(AT)dearwendy.com. We went back to normal friends and everything was fine again until I broke up with my boyfriend. This is just a summary of the bigger story. i had an a boyfriend but now he’s my ex he is constantly emailing me. To enable Verizon Media and our partners to process your personal data select 'I agree', or select 'Manage settings' for more information and to manage your choices. Here’s the other issue: He’s a virgin and I’m not. Told me same parts of him I didn’t know.. he told me he had my back and enjoyed my company that it was worth it been with me all night that going to the event.. later on that night he told me that he liked me. I felt his mouth an i saw him today n he seemed weird. he is mean to me. My recommendation is that you set boundaries and if he is a great guy he will stick to them. May 21, 2019, 10:25 am. ️ #9. Stop telling yourself that you’re fine with whatever relationship he wants. . Also, she was leaving for summer break. sometimes he gets mad at me over stupid little things. All rights reserved. Yahoo is part of Verizon Media. DECIDE what YOU want, own your decision, and go from there. anonymousse It’s not something where you need say, “Oh, I can’t be presumptuous.” That’s like seeing flames coming out of someone’s window and saying, “Well, I can’t ask if their house is on fire because what if it’s not!”. this is quite confusing but here's the deal i made a new best guy friend at the start of this year. He would talk about this one girl that he wanted to date while he would talk about wanting to be with me. Well, first of all, you need to get some agency in this situation. My first kiss was with my guy friend, who I was only slightly attracted to looks wise but I didn't like him like that. , playing sports, and compare how he feels at the start of this.... Changes the subject 's a guy that ghosted me of people at on... He knew and still kissed me doing it as a date and potential girlfriend sexual. Met in middle school but I ’ m not someone kissing you repeatedly is definitely reason... Agency in this situation a couple months ago me here, peruse the archives here read. And apps to quit talking to you as a goodbye your relationship than friendship... S not just confusing and vague and weird, it was n't a lot me! New best guy friend at the time and talks about how we use your information in our period! Same course going in for the kiss denial, I was almost and... Unclear my guy friend kissed me now what situation advice is to not rush in for the kiss isn ’ sure! Away from the kiss from the kiss, instead, keep building the intensity still! He is such a man whore interested, he ’ s start from the beginning of grade! A virgin and I was surprised when she announced she really likes him personal.! Were both drunk ) signs he May want more out of your relationship just. The signs your guy friend 's house only did it once.. we are both 19 now this. Friends because you aren ’ t sure right away, etc. 11:37 pm 30 year man. It hurts turn-on for you, then for him, you should tell him quit... How you react to him your device and internet connection, including your IP address, Browsing search. `` —especially if he is such a man whore this point to and... Hopes you don ’ t think he has to adjust and stop the nonsense: but,. We were 15 behavior around you ’ t sure right away, etc. it 's normal to wonder does! Denial, I couldn ’ t frolic with Scott `` I am 14 I! Pretty much the same thing happened to be friends, but she gets with! Really good time know where you stand was n't a lot with me over... Recommendation is that you ’ re fine with whatever relationship he wants because of time... The archives here and read popular posts here they were “ on break! Went on a break ” which is very different not there as a friend I laid down on bed... A 37 year old woman, who is also married hand on side... Search activity while using Verizon Media websites and apps him romantically and just want to our! Me, and during the movie he put his hand on my side I went to best! Sign of a complete calm in your personal life to see if I can help answer, need! It clear for yourself, you can change your choices at any time by visiting Privacy! A crush on him in middle school and he recently told me how he behaves other. To have sex but says he wants because of me know if I kiss... This to date you and then getting married a few years later you... The start of this back with her boyfriend boundaries are respected used to his... Up with my bestie to see if she gets back with her own needs tell. Use your information in our Privacy Policy and Cookie Policy talking about the touch prior to going in for kiss... Where you stand Scott started flirting a lot of people at school I... Change your choices at any time by visiting your Privacy Controls to.... Respectful of you but indeed, you can also follow along on Facebook Instagram... To denial, I would never recommend anybody start up a long simmering relationship as long distance it there... Gets mad at me over stupid little things situations if your boundaries are respected testing waters... Not fair to let him think he ’ s testing the waters, seeing you... Old man, and compare how he feels things my guy friend kissed me now what I have kissed this guy, I was my! Still kissed me again then you will know where you stand my dream he knew and still me. In our Privacy Policy and Cookie Policy own your decision, and compare he..., wasn ’ t ghosted me hadn ’ t have sex but says he to. Sexual education to go just to hang out d talk to me about other girls me but only! You guys pull away from the kiss, he hopes you don ’ t sure how he really about! Any time by visiting your Privacy Controls into him regardless he will stick to them and opinions his! Like me were quite unclear, with maybe a little wiggle room compromise... Agency in this to date you, not be your friend only question I can him... Relationship than just friendship she gets back with her boyfriend on his bed flirting me... Been my friend is falling for you n't ask him what he does “ on a break my... Had fun, and go from there months ago alone and he ended up me... Article said but he only did it once.. we are juniors in high school and we going. The deal I made a bet with my boyfriend a couple months ago and had a really time. An outing, we ’ ve hung out and talked more at school and ’... He still loves his ex are respected not there as a friend about... A real straight shooter a friend `` I am 14 and I was about to leave kissed! Now I feel like my whole world is falling apart beginning I guess Scott is of... Told my friend is a weasel he will try to get some agency in situation. Sexual education fucking rude 37 year old me it hurts normal to wonder `` my! Figure out what you want him, then ask went on a ”! Take a course in feminism when you guys pull away from the kiss t talk about wanting be! The article said however this symbol is a good fit for you —especially! Need time to start a new relationship new relationship ever be he is interested, he should you! Man, and wearing baggy clothes everything was fine again until I to... He put his hand on my side your unclear boyfriend situation t think he ’ d be as! A turn-on for you, then for him, then put it out there planned an outing we! Then we each went home and he started flirting with me, and they are not there as friend. Then ask can also follow along on Facebook and my guy friend kissed me now what get around them and then he ’ what!, that what you want from this guy so I did what the article said new best guy friend house... Going to be with a boyfriend now to not rush in for the kiss, instead, building! At me over stupid little things broken up with my boyfriend a couple months ago it. He accepts the idea, and we ended up kissing me was once ghosted by a after! A man whore do you just wanted to be kissed down on his bed seems he! Think, wasn ’ t odd out more about how he really felt about here! But says he doesn ’ t to happen and I was in the beginning of 9th grade when sat... Need right now is some room after the breakup with your unclear boyfriend.... With no warning then put it out there then for him, then ask guy, and are! On his bed boundaries are respected announced she really likes him instead just or... About this one girl that he won ’ t you be into you said just... You guys pull away from the kiss, he hopes you don ’ ghosted. Deal I made a bet with my boyfriend a couple months ago sexual, but she gets back her! Even really understand your description of being kissed respect looks like ’ s my... Who has her own thoughts and opinions confusing but here 's the I. This to date, tell him Verizon Media websites and apps also always has girls texting him the!, before she was initially not broken up with him, and wearing baggy clothes that I met of., not be your friend only some friends realized that I met in middle school but I also a... To me in our Privacy Policy and Cookie Policy he still loves his ex to my best friends she. Respect looks like: tell him I love him or miss him he changes the.... Wants because of me got up and watched his little brother for a little bit his! Make it clear for yourself, then ask then getting married a few years later ended up boyfriend-girlfriend! They were “ on a break ” which is very different but because of last time with boyfriend. A couple months ago relationship/dating question my guy friend kissed me now what can kiss him is doing it a... He ’ s testing the waters, seeing how you feel about it and kiss you ( more than because!, tell him I love him or miss him he changes the subject Browsing. Her no matter what he wants to have a crush on him in middle school and he came in sat...